„Everything is in your head”, you might have heard people saying. It’s influenced by your mindset.
If you become ill, someone may say – all viruses and bacteria are already in your body anyway, it’s in your head – why you became ill. You have worked too hard and your body has become very week and required rest, hence you got ill. You got too angry at somebody and your body reacted with stomach pain… It all starts in your head.
If the team wins in a football match, people might say – they knew the competitors strengths and weaknesses, they had a great strategy, they were so confident in their play, that the competitor team lost it. It’s all in your head – knowledge, strategy… confidence starts in the head.
In the recent analysis of my coaching clients challenges discussed in the coaching sessions I have concluded, that top 3 areas of focus were – how to be more successful, how to be more happy and to be more confident. Whatever success, happiness or confidence means for them individually.
Who does not want to be happy, successful and confident – in their own way? I do. In the way that is meaningful for me. As everything starts in your head, with your mindset, I have been thoughtful on what are the most impactful factors that influences development of a success mindset. The Top 3 are: 1. Using Your Talents, 2. Clarity and Focus on Your Goals, 3. Happiness Discipline.
The first one is:
Use Your Talents
It is – knowing your talents, what you are great at, and applying them in what you love doing. That makes you to enjoy what you do, feel happy and success comes exceedingly.
“What if I don’t know what are my talents”, you might ask. How to discover them? There are several ways how to. Of my experience, most popular are the following three:
- Ask feedback from your friends, family members, colleagues, clients – people, who know you well and have noticed, what you do well or better than others, what you are great at, what you stand out with.
- Read a book that talks you through the process of finding and noticing your strengths and talents. One of a great books I have successfully used with my coaching clients is: „Strengths Finder”, by Tom Rath.
- Get coaching sessions with the coach that will guide you through strength and talent discovery process and building the plan to work on them and integrate in your goals.
The second factor for success is:
Clarity and Focus on Your Goals
Your goals shall be related to your talents and to what you want to achieve that would make you happy. That builds success. Not your mothers, fathers, partners or employers expectations, but your goals – what you want to achieve and what will make you happy.
We are so hugely influenced by society, media, consumerism, that sometimes we do not recognize – we are working towards the goals that actually are not our goals, but the goals of real estate company – to sell us idea of buying a house and having a huge mortgage for life, when we actually would like to travel the world and feel the freedom of no mortgages. The goal of a car retailer to sell us a particular vehicle, when we actually would like to ride a bike. Or the goals of employer to make you scared to lose the job that you actually do not like.
Take time to think and discover – what do you actually want from your life, what would make you happy. Write it down in your goals and work out the actions to focus on. Review them constantly and validate if they are still your goals and how achieving them will contribute to your success, happiness and confidence.
The third success factor is:
You can also call it „happiness habit”, but I like the „discipline”, as it makes you more organized. Develop a discipline to focus constantly on the things that make you happy, influencing the situation and outcomes to feel happy. Not complaining about the situation or things that you can not influence for change.
It does take the discipline to constantly focus on opportunities, success, great things, choose the language that uplifts your mood and spirit. Rather than getting sad and upset or even depressed about things that have gone wrong or might go wrong.
The research shows that people who focus on the positive things in life, live longer and are healthier. They feel more energized and empowered to succeed. And they succeed more frequently – that gives them confidence to build on.
Our mind is often playing games with us, suggesting to sleep-in longer rather than wake up and go to the gym, watch some plain TV show instead of spending valuable time and insightful conversations with our partner or children, spend time on reading the yellow press about the life of celebrities instead of being fully present in our life and making every moment count.
It is in your will to discipline your mind and teach it the discipline or habit of happiness. Like you teach your child the discipline of brushing their teeth at least twice daily.
In conclusion – everything starts in our head and it is your choice to develop a success mindset. Define your talents, have clarity and focus on your goals and develop a happiness discipline. I have tested it on myself, it works and delivers success. I have evidenced my coaching clients succeeding in becoming more happy, successful and confident by developing a success mindset. It’s your choice for action.