„Everything is in your head”, you might have heard people saying. It’s influenced by your mindset.
If you become ill, someone may say – all viruses and bacteria are already in your body anyway, it’s in your head – why you became ill. You have worked too hard and your body has become very weak and required rest, hence you got ill. Or you got too angry at somebody and your body reacted with stomach pain… It all starts in your head.
If the team wins in a football match, people might say – they knew their competitors strengths and weaknesses, they had a great strategy, they were very confident in their play, that the competitor team lost it. It’s all in your head – knowledge, strategy… confidence starts in the mind.
In recent analysis of my coaching clients’ challenges which were discussed in the coaching sessions I have concluded the top 3 areas of focus are – 1. How to be more successful, 2. How to be more happy and, 3. How to be more confident. Whatever success, happiness or confidence means for them individually.
Who does not want to be happy, successful and confident – in their own way? I do. In the way that is meaningful for me. As everything starts in your head, with your mindset, I have been thoughtful on what are the most impactful factors that influences development of a success mindset. The Top 3 are: 1. Using Your Talents, 2. Clarity and Focus on Your Goals, and 3. Happiness Discipline.
The first one is – Use Your Talents.
It is – knowing your talents, what you are great at, and applying them in what you love doing. These make you enjoy what you do, makes you feel happy and success will come exceedingly.
“What if I don’t know what my talents are?”, you might ask. How do you discover them? There are several ways. In my experience, the most popular are the following three factors:
- Ask feedback from your friends, family members, colleagues, clients – people, who know you well and have noticed what you do well or what you do better than others, what you are great at, and what makes you stand out.
- Read a book that talks you through the process of finding and noticing your strengths and talents. One of great book I have successfully used with my coaching clients is: “Strengths Finder”, by Tom Rath.
- Get coaching sessions with a coach that will guide you through your strength and talent discovery process and building a plan to work on them and integrate in your goals.
The second factor for success is Clarity and Focus on Your Goals.
Your goals should be related to your talents and to what YOU want to achieve that would make you happy. This will build success. Its not your mothers, fathers, partners or employers expectations, but your goals – it should be what you want to achieve and what will make you happy.
We are influenced so much by society, the media, consumerism, that sometimes we do not recognize – that we are working towards goals that are actually not our goals, but instead, say, the goals of a real estate company – that wants to sell us the idea of buying a house with a huge mortgage for life, when we actually would prefer to travel the world and be free from any mortgages. The goal of a car retailer to sell us a particular vehicle, when we actually would prefer to ride a bike. Or the goals of an employer to make you fear losing your job that you actually do not like.
Take time to think and discover – what do you actually want from your life, what would make you happy. Write it down in your goals and work out the actions to focus on them. Review them constantly and validate if they are still your goals and how achieving them will contribute to your success, happiness and confidence.
The third success factor is – Happiness Discipline.
You can also call it „ “happiness habit”, but I like the „ “discipline”, as it makes you more organized. Develop a discipline to focus constantly on the things that make you happy, influencing the situation and outcomes to feel happy. Not complaining about the situation or things that you can not influence for change.
It does take discipline to constantly focus on opportunities, success, great things, choose the language that uplifts your mood and spirit. Rather than getting sad and upset or even depressed about things that have gone wrong or might go wrong.
Research shows that people who focus on the positive things in life, live longer and are healthier. They feel more energized and empowered to succeed. And they succeed more frequently – this gives them confidence to build on.
Our mind is often playing games with us, suggesting to sleep-in longer rather than wake up and go to the gym, or to watch some plain TV show instead of spending valuable time and insightful conversations with our partner or children, or to spend time on reading the yellow press about the life of celebrities instead of being fully present in our life and making every moment count.
It is in your best interest to discipline your mind and teach it the discipline or habit of happiness. Just like you would teach your child the discipline of brushing their teeth at least twice daily.
In conclusion – everything starts in our head and it is your choice to develop a success mindset. Define your talents, have clarity and focus on your goals and develop a happiness discipline. I have tested it on myself, it works and delivers success. I have witnessed my coaching clients succeeding in becoming more happy, successful and confident by developing a success mindset. It’s your choice for action.